I have a theory that Mother’s Day is in May because school is still in session then. Dads have the luxury of letting teachers do the creative heavy lifting and then they can grab some flowers and call it good.
Moms? We’re celebrating this Hallmark holiday in June without the benefit of teacher-led crafts and with the burden of Pinterest. When you go to the drug store to grab a card for your husband it’s the Pinterest Burden that whispers, “Shouldn’t you have helped your toddler make paper out of paste, confetti, and your own tears and then written a personalized Haiku for your husband on that instead of buying a card?”
And hey – if you’re a Pinterest Mom: I applaud you. Really, I do. Your ability to look at a pile of toothpicks and think, “That should be woven into wicker furniture for Barbie!” is something to be admired.
Alas, I am a mere mortal. Barely capable of wielding a glue stick and entirely terrified of glitter.
(I’m sure we can all agree that glitter is the herpes of crafts.)
But since I still haven’t given up hope on my inner crafter, I turned to Pinterest to help me come up with some ideas of what I can have my daughter make (re: make myself and give her credit) my husband for Father’s Day.
And then I had to give myself a few minutes to just laugh. Because no. So much no.
Bacon roses. I’ll admit it – this is cute in theory. But it involves baking, a trip to the craft store, and creating a “toothpick stand” (AGAIN WITH THE TOOTHPICKS). Too much for something my husband would devour in 3 minutes.
“Hoppy Father’s Day!” Love it. Play on words FTW. Easy Origami? Thank you for the laugh. I love a good oxymoron!
Precious keepsake- but my husband would do this puzzle exactly zero times. Also, you lost me at “Cut down a piece of plastic” and “decoupage” and “exacto knife”.
I cannot imagine how many cans would fall to the kitchen floor and then launch off like a grenade as they shot across my living room if I tried to assemble this diaper cake of soda. And as much as I’m sure my husband would appreciate a tower o’ junk food, he’d be taking it apart in .2 seconds to get those cans in the fridge. Or worse: just shoving it in there fully assembled and taking up ALL the space.
So to my husband: Happy Father’s Day, honey. I love you. You’re the best dad and I may make an effort to trace our toddler’s hand onto a piece of construction paper and pass that off as a gift. Please act very excited when it’s presented to you.
After all, at least I tried to go above and beyond this year, right?