‘Twas the week before Christmas, when all through the house
Every creature was stirring, except the dog, that louse.
The stockings were hung with just enough flair,
And I suddenly realized – “Crap, what am I going to put in there?”
The children were wrestled then put into their beds,
While visions of hatchimals danced in their heads.
And I in my yoga pants and dad in his cap,
Had just begun working – SO MANY PRESENTS TO WRAP.
When outside the door there arose such a clatter
It was the toddler! She’d broken a platter.
Away to the kitchen I flew like a flash,
And broke out the Swiffer to clean up the glass.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Brought on great worry, “how will we get where we need to go?”
When what to my dark-circled eyes should appear,
But the UPS Truck! Good grief, MORE things are here??
The packages were brought in, so heavy and thick,
The thought of more wrapping made me a bit sick.
The boxes were opened, shoot – what is the time?
Nevermind, this can wait – I’m getting some wine.
Now Reisling! Now Prosecco! Now Syrah and Rose!
On Merlot! On Pinot! On Cab and Chardonnay!
To the top of the glass – hey, who needs a glass at all?
Now drink away, drink away, drink away y’all!
As the to-do list grew I lifted my glass high,
It was looking impossible – two more sips, then I’ll try.
I glanced at my husband drinking his favorite brew,
Blissfully unaware of the things left to do.
And then, with a twinkling, I heard through the wall,
The baby was stirring. Did he sleep 10 minutes? Or not at all?
I peeked in my head, and was turning around,
When – WAHHHH! (I knew that unmistakable sound).
He was covered in spit up from his head to his foot
His pajamas were soaking – I was afraid to even look.
I quickly cleaned him up, things weren’t looking so dire,
Then laid him back down, and stood back to admire.
His eyes how they twinkled! His grin oh so merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His sweet little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And he seemed to say – oh please, don’t go!
The end of a paci he held so tight in his gums,
I wondered when he’d start sucking his thumbs.
He had a sweet face and a round milk-filled belly,
How calmly he cooed, now that he wasn’t so smelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly young chap,
And suddenly I remembered the presents to wrap.
A blink of his eyes and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know he was ready for bed.
I spoke not a word, then went straight to my work,
And half-filled the stockings (extra candy in mine, a motherhood perk.)
And putting a hand back on my wine glass,
I stared down the gifts, which were gathered en masse.
I sprang to the wrapping paper and gathered the bows,
(And pulled on some warm socks to cover my toes.)
I realized then I was ready for the fight,
Christmas would happen – even if it takes me all night!